


Deadly Strawberries

by mandarin1820



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: 1970s, Cute, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Just bros being bros, Near Death Experiences, No Slash, Strawberry field au, Summer, john is a grumpy man who just wants to make jam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 12:42:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17304839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandarin1820/pseuds/mandarin1820
Summary: “Alright, so we all know why we’re here?”“Yes, John. We aren’t going to eat all the strawberries. Don’t you trust us?”“No and that’s the problem!”ORIt started peaceful enough, until there was a near-death experience in the strawberry-picking fields.





	Deadly Strawberries

**Author's Note:**

> Have fun with this, I know I did:)

“Alright, so we all know why we’re here?”

“Yes, John. We aren’t going to eat all the strawberries. Don’t you trust us?”

“No and that’s the problem!” John grumbles, but clampers into the wagon full of hay and dirt. He plops down and pulls his flimsy plastic basket into his lap carefully. Roger, Brian, and Freddie file in after him, all carrying their baskets as well. 

A few other people come into the wagon before the tractor attached begins pulling them to the field, creating large dirt clouds to float around them. 

“Do we all know the plan?” John says, before rubbing at his eyes as dust flies in his face. Roger sighs loudly. 

“Yes, John. We know the FUCKING plan,” Roger states loudly. He wasn’t trying to be obscene, he just wanted John to hear him over the loud tractor in front of him, but the family sitting next to them with the two toddlers make a disapproving sound, and Brian quickly apologizes for his friend. 

“I am so sorry for him and his DIRTY MOUTH,” Brian proclaims and smacks Roger upside the head. Roger yelps and rubs his sore head. “Roger you fucking idiot. Watch your fucking language there’s children here.” He hisses, not realizing what he said. 

Roger and Freddie start giggling freely and obnoxiously. 

John huffs and crosses his arms, finally he gives up waiting for attention to be brought back to him and he sighs exaggeratedly.

“I need enough strawberries for jam, so don’t eat any of them, got it?” They all nod halfheartedly (Roger has started touching all the branches and leaves as they dangled down, Brian was obviously admiring the nature peacefully, and Freddie was staring into space at literally nothing, in his own little world at the moment). “Don’t eat any of them, got it?!” John repeats more urgently, and they all look at him and nod indefinitely. 

The tractor ride was short, but Roger was talking nonsense about trees and Brian was trying to correct him and Freddie was trying to back Roger up with his stupid facts (“Hey Brian, did you know that the oldest maple tree was planted by Jesus?” “What? No, that’s- that’s not true” “Oh, it’s true.” “Shut up, Freddie, that’s definitely not true”) and John was losing his mind. 

Finally the tractor stopped and they all piled out. The family beside them made a beeline for the row farthest from them and Roger was so offended that Brian and Freddie had to pull him back to their row they’d picked so he didn’t cause a scene. 

And it started. 

It started peaceful, them together just picking some strawberries so John could make some jam and some pies. But then, Roger started complaining. 

“God it’s hot. How long have we been out here?”

“15 minutes, Roger.”

“That’s all?! Freddie, I’m not gonna make it.”

“You’re fine,” Freddie rolls his eyes and chucks some more strawberries in his bucket. “Here, have a strawberry. You’ll feel better.” 

Freddie hands Roger a big one and Roger gladly takes it and inspects it. He went from a squat to kneeling as he focused on inspecting the strawberry. Freddie was beginning to get weirded out. 

“Whaaat are you doing?” Freddie watches as Roger glances up and wipes some sweat off his brow. He then smiles widely as if being asked that was exactly what he wanted. 

“You gotta inspect the berry before eating it, Freddie. You don’t want to eat any berry bugs.”

“Excuse me?”

“Berry bugs,” Roger smiles even wider, if that’s possible. “It’s the bugs that eat the berries. Sometimes they hide in the berries’ holes.” 

Freddie snorts. It’s a weird name, but it makes sense and Freddie loves it. 

“Actually,” Brian looks up from his picking across the bush they were working on. “Bugs are good protein. Some people even eat them as a part of their diet.” 

Roger rolls his eyes and mocks Brian to Freddie, putting his hand up to mocking how much he’s talking.

“So if you eat a ‘berry bug’ it’s theoretically good for you.” Brian smiles knowingly, before scowling at Roger’s mocking. 

“Brian, I’m not going to eat a berry bug on purpose. That’s plain disgusting. They aren’t meant to be eaten.” Roger states plainly and decides his strawberry is clean, before popping it in his mouth. He groans and leans his head back in delight. “So good.”

“Hey! Are you eating my strawberries?” They all suddenly hear John’s shrilling voice screeching over to them from three rows away.

Freddie and Roger look at each other in pure fear and Roger quickly swallows the berry, not chewing all the way, and suddenly, he’s choking. 

So now, Roger is on his hands and knees, holding his chest and neck and Freddie is freaking out and John looks angry. 

Brian jumps into action and hauls Roger to his feet. 

“I know what to do!” He shouts and wraps his arms around his torso, but before he could do anything Freddie suddenly shoved him out of the way. 

“You blundering idiot he doesn’t need a hug right now!” Freddie scowls and Roger was turning bright red, still clutching his throat. “He needs mouth to mouth!” 

Roger eyes suddenly go wide and he shakes his head, backing up. Brian tries to tell him ‘no’ but Freddie had already started maneuvering Roger to lay down, Roger was struggling hard against him.

“Stop Roger. Do you want to live or not?” Freddie fumes and tries to get him to bend his knees. He finally gives up being nice and wacks him hard in the backside of the knees, causing Roger to buckle and fly forward, landing hard on his hands and knees. 

As he landed, the force must’ve unlodged the strawberry because out it went and Roger was suddenly wheezing and clutching at his chest. Freddie pats him sympathetically on the back, crouching down to his eye level. 

“Freddie,” Roger’s voice came out scratchy and it ended in a coughing fit. Freddie nods understandingly. 

“It’s alright Roger. You can thank me later.” 

“No! N-no!” Roger wheezes and with a bit of help from Brian he stands, glaring at Freddie. “I’m going to kill you.” 

“What?” Freddie looked genuinely confused. 

Roger clears his throat and starts. 

“Mouth to mouth is when someone stops breathing-“ 

“Yes, and you weren’t breathing-“

“No! Like, ‘CPR’ not breathing! ‘Heart stops beating’ not breathing! You do the Heimlich maneuver for someone choking! That's what Brian was fucking doing!” Roger was fuming now as he glares at Freddie, who was very confused. 

“Oh.”

“Yeah ‘oh’ you could’ve killed me!” 

“But, I didn’t.”

“I’m gonna kill him-“ Roger start forward to lay a punch at his face, but Brian was holding him down by the shoulders. 

“Not to be a buzz kill or anything, but I did tell you to not eat the strawberries. I think it’s karma.” John was now standing beside him and giggling slightly. It wasn’t supposed to be funny, because Roger literally almost died, but Brian was now snickering too. Roger about lost it there in that strawberry field, but he stormed off instead to wait for the next wagon ride. Freddie just stood there, still confused. 

“I think it’s time to go,” Brian wipes at his eyes after they calm down. 

“I didn’t get enough for jam or pie.” John pouts disappointedly, looking at his not even half full basket. 

“Yeah well, that’s what happens when you bring Roger and Freddie to go strawberry picking.” Brian sighs and carries Roger’s bucket and his to the wagon that just arrived. 

They all clambered in and sat in the same spots as before, but Roger was still angry, so he completely turned away from Freddie sitting next to him. 

There was an awkward ride back to their car to pay and leave. 

When Freddie did apologize, Roger accepted on the account that he went to the First Aid certification class as soon as possible. 

“I could’ve sworn it was mouth to mouth.” Freddie frowns and pops a strawberry in his mouth as they start their journey home. Roger crosses his arms and legs and frowns. 

“Yeah, it’s not.”

Freddie eats another strawberry and ponders it for a bit. Roger’s frown deepens before he sniffs and turns to the window. 

-

“Come on Roger it’s just jam! You can’t choke on jam!” John pleads as he pushes the jar of freshly made jam to him. Roger sighs. 

“Where is Freddie right now?”

“What?”

“I don’t want him anywhere near me if I do choke again.”

John starts chuckling and shakes his head. 

“Listen, I know the Heimlich and I won’t let Freddie anywhere near you, okay? Now, I worked hard on this and had to go buy more berries so you better damn try it.” 

Roger sighs again and sticks his finger into the jar, making John wince. Roger hesitates, But eventually sticks his finger in his mouth and sucks. It must’ve gone down the wrong pipe because he began to cough violently and John quickly starts patting him on the back. 

“Man you have bad luck with strawberries. What’s up with that?” Roger shrugs and continues to cough, tears collecting around his eyes. 

Suddenly, in comes Freddie and he stares wide eyed at Roger coughing and John patting him on the back.

“Do you want me to do mouth to mouth?”

Roger just about strangled Freddie right there.


End file.
